The Ashes - 9

Well done, Australia, another crushing victory. The spirit of Yuletide generosity from the England team is something to behold ("Here, have another wicket, go on. Oh, you've had enough, perhaps you'd like a long hop or two to smash to the boundary, come on, tuck in. Now, don't forget those thankyou letters").

Anyone care to add to my list of adjectives to describe England?

"Hopeless, hapless, gutless, guileless, brainless, spineless, clueless, useless, chinless, witless, listless, thoughtless, aimless, headless, senseless, gormless, toothless, Vaughanless, mostly harmless..."

Of course, you can sum up the Aussies in similar language:

"Timeless, ageless, peerless, fearless, ruthless, relentless..."

The Sydney test starts next week. A whitewash is on the cards. Not even I will bet against that now.