10 Things I would never do? Hmm.

I saw this on Iain Dale's blog yesterday. He says he wants to start a meme. Effectively he's listing the limits of his ambition and his moral boundaries. Strangely he rules out going to White Hart Lane, but not killing a shop assistant for giving him the wrong change. Clearly not a man to cross.

The idea comes from the Daily Torygraph, which has been running its own version of the popular alcoholic parlour game "I have never...". Fortunately I didn't have bottle of vodka to hand when I read the list, otherwise I would have been completely hammered. Never worn jeans - swig. Never been to Disneyland - glug. Never used a mobile phone - chug-a-lug.

Anyway, it got me thinking. I'm only young, but I've seen and done a few crazy (a bungee jump in NZ, still wear the T-shirt), morally dubious (eaten whale meat in Japan, actually it's rather yummy) and utterly indefensible (voted Republican - for Bush, Sr, in 1988) things in my time.

With a track record like that, it seems there's not much I'd never do, but here's my shot at a list anyway. Only a top 5, 'cos the other places are taken up with the big no-nos like incest and killing shop assistants:

1. Buy a fat-looking Mercedes. The thinner old ones are OK.
2. Rule out a blaxploitation version of my life story (should a biopic ever be on the cards).
   
3. Get married in a church or other place of worship.
4. Take a bus, if a train is a viable alternative.
   
5. Order a plate of dobrada in a Portuguese restaurant again. (I discovered, the hard way, that dobrada means tripe.)

Apparently with these things, you're supposed to tag someone else and encourage them to join the fun (like chain letters, woo!), so I'll tag my friend, Tom.